Rewriting Your Negative Mental Script

Are you an expert on sh!tting on yourself?  Are you your worst enemy?

No one else can treat you worse than YOU!! That is a common trait for ADHD Entrepreneurs, and we need to rewrite our mental script of ourselves. If you've found yourself getting caught in a whirlwind of negative self-talk, you’re not alone. Trust me, this isn’t a reflection of who you are now; it’s something that comes from way back.

Don’t feel like reading? Listen to the episode.

The Origin of Negative Self-Talk

Dr. Judy Ho and I talked about the origins of negative self-talk and how it evolves into core beliefs. Have you ever found yourself thinking, "I’m not good enough," or "I can’t do this"? Well, this self-talk didn’t just appear out of thin air. It’s rooted deep from our past, often stemming from childhood experiences.

From a young age, these internal dialogues started to shape who we believe we are. These aren't just fleeting thoughts; they evolve into core beliefs and become part of our brain’s operating system. The brain seeks evidence to support these beliefs, turning them into self-fulfilling prophecies. WTF! It’s like a software program running in the background, influencing how we perceive ourselves and the world around us.

The Protective Nature of Core Beliefs

This is a major takeaway from my chat with Dr. Judy —our negative self-talk has a function. It's there to protect us. When we were kids, our brains developed these beliefs as coping mechanisms to keep us safe. Fast forward to adulthood, and these beliefs stick around, even though they’re now more harmful than helpful. They make us seek out evidence to reinforce that negative self-view, whether it’s thinking we’re not smart enough, good enough, or capable enough.

For ADHD Entrepreneurs, this can be especially tough. We often face intense negative self-talk, not because we have moral failings, but because these beliefs were formed to protect us during vulnerable times in our childhood. It’s a hard cycle to break, but understanding its origin is the first step.

Emotions and Thoughts Are Not Facts

Another banger! One of the most powerful points Dr. Judy made was that emotions and thoughts are not facts. This was a mind-blowing moment for me. Growing up, we often internalize the belief that if we feel something, it must be true. This isn’t the case.

Take, for example, the feeling of inadequacy. Just because you feel inadequate doesn’t mean you are. It’s an emotion, not a fact. By separating these emotions and thoughts from reality, we can start challenging them. Think, "I feel stupid," instead of, "I am stupid." This simple shift can make a world of difference in how we perceive ourselves and change our mental script.

Understanding Attachment Styles

Another jaw-opening aspect of my conversation with Dr. Judy was about attachment styles and how they influence our self-esteem and relationships. Whether we have a secure or insecure attachment can significantly affect how we interact with others and how we see ourselves.

• Secure Attachment: If you had caregivers who made you feel safe and valued, you likely have higher self-esteem and healthier relationships. You feel secure and are more open to learning and growth.

• Insecure Attachment: This type can lead to self-sabotage and difficulties in forming meaningful connections. Whether it’s anxious attachment, where you crave constant reassurance, or avoidant attachment, where you prefer self-sufficiency to the point of isolation, it negatively impacts your self-talk and relationships.

Understanding your attachment style can help you identify the core beliefs that stem from your childhood and start the process of overwriting that old software.

Reparenting: Overwriting Your Mental Script

So, how do we change this script that’s been running our whole lives? Dr. Judy introduced me to the concept of reparenting. It’s about consciously becoming your nurturing parent, the one you wish you had. This involves speaking kindly to yourself, acknowledging your accomplishments, and balancing negative and positive self-talk.

Speak Kindly to Yourself

One of the easiest ways to start reparenting is by changing the tone of your self-talk. Instead of beating yourself up, treat yourself with the same respect and kindness you would offer a close friend. If a friend came to you saying, "I feel so stupid," you wouldn’t agree with them. You’d tell them why they’re not. Do the same for yourself.

Acknowledge Accomplishments

Celebrate your wins, big or small. ADHD Entrepreneurs often overlook their accomplishments, focusing only on what’s left to do. Take a moment to acknowledge your hard work and the progress you’ve made. This doesn’t mean throwing a party every time you achieve something but give yourself a pat on the back and recognize your efforts.

Balance Your Self-Talk

Lastly, aim for balanced self-talk. Don’t swing to the extreme of unrealistic positivity, like saying, "I’m the best at everything!" Instead, be honest but kind. "I might not be great at this yet, but I’m willing to learn." This balanced self-talk fosters a healthy relationship with yourself and encourages growth without setting you up for disappointment.

Moving Forward

Understanding and reprogramming your negative self-talk is a journey, but it’s one worth taking. As ADHD Entrepreneurs, we have unique challenges and strengths. By recognizing where our self-talk comes from, understanding its protective nature, and consciously reparenting ourselves, we can overwrite that old brain operating system.

It's all about treating ourselves with the respect we deserve and breaking free from the negative scripts that no longer serve us. We can do it together.

How are you working to rewrite your mental script? Share your experiences with me at andre@theimpulsivethinker.com Let’s support each other in this journey.

Further Exploration 

Read Dr. Judy's book Stop Self Sabotage: Six steps to unlock your true motivation, Harness your willpower, and Get out of your own way.

The ADHD Simplified™ Course has launched. Clients have shared how it’s changing their lives. Curious to learn more? Visit our website for more details. Remember, ADHD is only a part of you, not all of you. 

Overcome time blindness by downloading The Sh!t List™, my free weekly planning tool to help focus your time.

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